Encounters of the 2nd Kind

At the Mayhem Mathematics Institute, Italian Mathematician Claude Lacombi, his American interpreter and mapmaker, I.M. Laughing, along with some other very important people discovered a new line in their model of the 2nd dimension. They called it Line 19. One of the VIPs (who has yet to be named) discovered that it was the same line that had gone missing 30 years earlier. 

They also found a lost dot in the far stretches of the 2nd dimension. Wondering about what caused these objects to appear, Lacombi and Laughing - along with a group of mathematics specialists - dove deeper into the appearances of such objects. 

Dots and lines were popping up everywhere! This was causing even the media to get involved. Laughing, in good humor, joked about how aliens could be the cause of these lines. Little would he know that his simple comment would spark the making of a new movie.  

As the media frenzy died down, the mathematicians were able to resume their work. Taking his work home with him, Lamcombi's three-year old son, Barry, pointed out that all of the lines and dots, when combined, made a picture. 

Looking at their research from the perspective of his son, Lacombi saw it, too. The 2nd dimension actually created a new shape, a smily face.

An Affinity for Aardvarks

Fredrick had an affinity for aardvarks. To adumbrate, he thought that they were aesthetically perfect and that they could be very useful in society. Aardvarks ate the very creature Fredrick abominated most, ants. They were so adroit in using their long tongue to pick up bugs that they didn’t even get bitten, unlike Fredrick did on that adverse summer day.

The intense heat of the sun, which could be seen after walking up the acclivity to get to the park, severely affected Fredrick. Upon reaching the park, Fredrick quickly sat down in the first shady spot he found. Unfortunately, he sat down so quickly that he did not notice the small colony of ants that was right next to where he was seated and when he discovered it, it was already too late. It was not abstruse as to why Fredrick jumped up in such a hurry. Having won an accolade at his school’s science fair for his study of ant colonies, he knew all about ants and their habitats. Not wanting to get bitten, Fredrick slowly edged his way away from the ant’s colony. Not wanting anyone to abashed in the same way that he had when he sat down, he took out some little red flags from his backpack and put them around the colony to accentuate its position. He did not think that his actions adulterated the image of the park in any way, so he left them there.

Since then, Fredrick has been an advocate for Aardvarks in Parks. Although, other children with zits sometimes accosted and abased him, his efforts to make parks safer did not abate. This effort granted him some well-earned adulation and help from the city, which he has used to make parks safer to this very day. 

*To learn the meaning of these SAT words please follow this link.

Stuck Between a Rock, Gold, Nemo, Chalk, Grandmothers, Aardvarks, and a Hard Place

Do you ever feel stuck when you are trying to write something?

I do. 

All the time. 

Just about every time I go to write something, I get stuck. 

When I'm outside and doing something else, I have a million and two ideas. Once I come inside though, I'm back where I started....

Being stuck, as usual, I came across a number of ways to get unstuck.

(1) Set a timer for five minutes. Then, Google something - anything! Now, sit facing the computer and just play! When the timer goes off, write about the first thing that comes to your mind or simply describe the page at which you are looking.

(2) Go outside, find some chalk, draw a picture, and then come in and write about what you drew. 

(3) Google Writing Prompts; you'll find a number of great suggestions like "Be A Secret Agent for Your Grandmother" and "Write a folk tale about a chivalrous aardvark who only speaks in rhyme."

Happy Writing!

Welcome To School & How To Get Kicked Out Of Class

Welcome Back To School*

If you are reading this post you are... 
     (A) Killing Time
     (B)Truly wondering if you have the ability to get kicked out of class
     (C)Postponing any pending work you do not wish to be doing at the moment

If you selected (A), Welcome and please scroll down to the next paragraph to continue reading. If you selected (B), Congratulations  you came to the right place, please scroll down to the next paragraph. If you selected (C), please return to your pending work as you have already wasted enough time getting to my blog, unless of course you wish to use avoiding homework as a way to get out of class. This I do not sugest, if one does not complete one's homework it is sure that you will spend even more time in your class making up the work then out of your class. 

There are many methods to get your self kicked out of class, and for easy reference this post is broken down into easy-to-find sections. 

THE I'M GIVING YOU THE RIGHT, BUT STILL WRONG ANSWER METHOD

This method uses direct answers to your teachers' questions that are entirely true but not the answer the teacher wanted you to give. If you give these kinds of answers enough your teacher will surely grow tired of you and kick you out. WARNING: Sometimes this may result in more talks with your teacher and the less likely option of gifted classes, though if you are reading this post I'm sure you wish for less classes and you may not want to risk this one. 

THE GOOGLE ANSWERS MY QUESTIONS FOR ME METHOD

This method allows you to have google answer your questions for you. This will get you kicked out of class for one of two reasons. (A) You were kicked out for having your hand held device out in class, which you know you shouldn't have out.

(B) You gave a nonsense answer that gave your teacher the hint that you have been cheating on all of your questions. (WARNING: This may cause you to have to retake this class)

TO BE CONTINUED......

*DISCLAIMER: Please do not attempt any of the above options, this post has been written as a joke and I do not mean to get anyone kicked out of his or her class.