Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Math Jokes

Math Jokes! I have heard so many math jokes lately that I have started telling them myself. So I thought I would share some that I thought were funny (or at least entertaining).



Theorem: a cat has nine tails.

Proof:
No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.



Two people are traveling in a balloon over unknown territory.

     "Hey!" they call out to a passerby, "where are we?"

     The person looks carefully for a moment at them and yells back, "You're in a balloon!"

     "He must be a mathematician," says one of the travelers to the other.

     "Why is that?" asks the other.

     "First, he thought awhile before answering. Second, his answer is absolutely precise. And third, it's utterly useless."


If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?



Many cultures, in their early mathematical development, discovered the equation 2 + 2 = 5. For example, consider the Bolb tribe, descended from the Incas of South America. The Bolbs counted by tying knots in ropes. They quickly realized that when a 2-knot rope is put together with another 2-knot rope, a 5-knot rope results. (This is part is not a joke.)



An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn't care.



One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.



Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas. 



The actual quote from the Webster dictionary: 
trillion n 
syn SCAD, gob(s), heap, jillion, load(s), million, oodles, quantities, thousand, wad(s) 


Dictionary of Definitions of Terms Commonly Used in Math. lectures.

CLEARLY:
I don't want to write down all the "in- between" steps.


TRIVIAL:
If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.


OBVIOUSLY:
I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.


RECALL:
I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test...


WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality):
I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.


CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF:
This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.


SKETCH OF A PROOF:
I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into the parts I couldn't prove.


HINT:
The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.


SOFT PROOF:
One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms.


ELEGANT PROOF:
Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.


SIMILARLY:
At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.


CANONICAL FORM:
4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for their students who choose to finish.


BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM:
I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right (or at all), then the rest of this follows.


TWO LINE PROOF:
I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.


BRIEFLY:
I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.


LET'S TALK THROUGH IT:
I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake.


PROCEED FORMALLY:
Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math courses).


QUANTIFY:
I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is a moon of Jupiter.


PROOF OMITTED:
Trust me, It's true.





Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].



Everything I Know I Learned From The Movies

Like most living today, I have grown up with various movies and TV shows. 

Watching all of these programs has, in some way or fashion, affected my thinking, and this is how....

Peter Pan


OBSERVATIONS:


Being a kid is really fun!


Any pirate can be defeated as long as you believe.


"Faith, trust, and pixie dust" are needed to fly.


HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:


I keep wondering when I should leave for Neverland.. I keep getting older every year.


I challenge myself to think and go for what I believe in!


I will wait to jump from the table in an attempt to fly untill I have found a proper pixie that is willing to lend me some dust.

Kiki's Delivery Service

OBSERVATIONS:

Flying into traffic is dangerous.


Have broom, will travel.

Art looks like fun!

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

I always look both ways before crossing the street.

Have airplane, will travel.

I love art! It is super fun!

Tarzan

OBSERVATIONS:

Traveling makes you feel adventurous.

Photographs are fun to see.

Animals make great friends!

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

Adventurous travels are fun. <3

My family takes lots and lots of photos.

We have four pets!

Rugrats in Paris

OBSERVATIONS:

It is good to learn more languages.

Don't trust any red haired evil ladies.

Don't leave dogs with pizza.

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:


I don't know any evil ladies. (If one is ever met, she will be avoided at all cost.)

I won't EVER leave my dogs alone with pizza.


FernGully

OBSERVATIONS:

It is good to care about the environment. 

It is good to always bring your music with you.

It is not very nice to cut down trees.

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

I recycle.

I always have my I-pod.

Save the rainforest!!

Scooby Doo

OBSERVATIONS:

Always bring your dog with you.

Bring a camera to document evidence.

Always bring snacks and water.

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

I bring my dog with me as much as possible.

I bring my camera almost everywhere.

I keep food and my water bottle with me.


Aladdin

OBSERVATIONS:

Be weary of giant, talking, tiger shaped mounds of sand.

Must find an flying carpet, best way to travel. 

Genies deserve to be free!

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

I have never once tried talking to a sandbox.
Still working on finding the flying carpet, it is harder than I thought it was going to be.
If I ever found a genie I would free it.

Osmosis Jones

OBSERVATIONS:
It is good to wash your hands often.

Brushing teeth often is also really good.

Your body will fight for its health.

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

I wash my hands very frequently.

I brush my teeth very very frequently.

I will never go down without a fight!!

Cats Don't Dance


OBSERVATIONS:

"Nothing is gonna stop us now."

Cats can dance!

Optimism is the best choice. 

HOW THIS AFFECTED MY THINKING:

Anything is possible!

My cat doesn't yet dance, but we are working on it.

I am very optimistic!


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Object 3: Olduvai Handaxe

Found in Olduvai Gorge, Tanzania, the Olduvai Handaxe, which is made of green volcanic lava, is carded in the shape of a human hand. This tool represents a tradition of tool making that started about 1.6 million years ago. 


Small handaxes, like this one, became common tools used for cutting meat and carving wood. 


The people who made this tool were among the first people to travel outside of Africa to other lands like Central Asia, the Middle East, Europe, and Asia. 


Handaxes represent some of the first signs of human ingenuity and the establishment of the ways we live our lives as humans. 


Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Legend of Korra

The next chapter in the avatar story is out!!


Two generations have passed and and the next cycle of the avatar has begun a new. 


The newest avatar is from the southern water tribe and is named Korra. 


Korra discovered she was the avatar at a young age and has been training in the south pole. 


After her training with Air Bending Master Tenzin was delayed, she quickly headed for Republic City, where Tenzin could teach her.


After reaching Republic City she soon got lost. While she was trying to find her way to the Air Bending Temple she ran into some thugs and helped save a shopkeeper. When she saved the shopkeeper, she also got herself arrested for destruction of public property. Tenzin then came to the rescue and convinced the police to drop the charges.


After being almost sent home, Air Bending Master Tenzin let Korra stay at the Air Bending Temple so that she could learn air bending.


While having a hard time at the temple because of her lack of being able to air bend, she found out about the pro-bending battles that were in progress only a short boat-ride away and attempted to go see a match in secret, since she was not permitted to go.


After running into a little bit of trouble, she met Bolin a member of a pro-bending team, she then met the rest of the team and watched a match. 


The next day when she came back to the pro-bending stadium to watch another match, one of the team's members didn't show up. Then, Korra promptly offered to help the team out. Thus earning her a permeant spot on the team while also getting in trouble for going to the pro-bending battles. 


During the first episode, you can tell that Korra's character is stuborn and hot headed yet very eager to learn. Korra seems to face all challenges head-on, which can be proven in her strength and her strong will. 


Korra seems to be a wonderful character and I can't wait until the next episode comes out. :)


Object 2: Olduvai Stone Chopping Tool

An almost black rock that is 8.7 cm by 9.4 com by 6.4 cm almost looks like any other rock. 


Louis Leakey, while he was in Tanzania, recognized that it was not just a rock. It was in fact a stone tool made by an early human. 


That early human, driven by his or her need to eat, probably made the stone to cut meat or scrape bark from trees. The early human probably took the time to make sure his or her carving of the rock was precise as to have an efficient carving tool. This act of precision shows the very human quality of doing a bit more than is utilitarian, bring forth a new way of making something at the time, using more effort than is needed at the basic level.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Object 1: Mummy of Hornedjitef

The Mummy of Hornedjitef stands 194.5 cm tall and is 60 cm wide. The coffin is made of wood and is ornately painted. 


The Mummy of Hornedjitef, which is housed in the British Museum, was a priest in Egypt almost 1,800 years ago. 


He was the priest at the temple of Amun and died at an old age at about 220 BC. It would have taken 70 days for the mummification progress. During that time, some of Hornedjitef's body parts,like the brain, were removed. 


He was also treated with salt and chemicals to dry the body so he would not decay. After this was complete, Hornedjitef would have been wrapped in linen cloth and been given the painted mask to put over his face.


 Then, he would be put in the final coffin and buried in the tomb, thus completing the mummification and sending him on his way to the next world.